The pressure to get grades

December 19, 2021 by No Comments

You want your children to do well in school. You are concerned about their future. You want them to get into a good school, ideally, with scholarship, for which good grades are even more prudent. 

However good your intention might be into pushing your child into getting good grades, it may lead to them getting pressurized. 

Pressure is never conducive to good performance. It is worst yet where parents reward only children with good grades – and not learning outcomes – so that child starts to perceive their grades as their worth.

The pressure to get good grades also then leads to extreme stress in the child, due to which they then may face mental health issues, meriting a visit to the therapist whom you can consult via

Motivating your children

You as parent want good for your child, and that is understandable, however, the way you go about it is very important. Here are some tips on how to motivate your child:

Be kind to them 

Sternness gets you nowhere. If you want to motivate your child into doing better, you need to be kind to them! It is just grades, at the end of the day.


The most counter-intuitive way to motivate your child is by criticizing them. This will cause self-esteem and self-worth issues in them; naturally, when they are not getting good grades and are being criticized, they will start feeling inadequate. 

Focus on learning 

You must focus on learning outcomes instead of grades. While on a practical level, grades are required for admissions etc., however, there is little gain to be made if your child gets the grade but does not learn. 

Therefore, focus on ensuring that your child gains knowledge, their minds evolve, and they grow as a result. 

Focus on the good 

Being positive is vital for to keep your child’s spirit high. Rather than reprimanding or shaming them when they do not get high enough grades, uplift them. Tell them how they can improve next time. Work with them to improve the next time: perhaps help them with homework or making a more efficient study schedule.

Stressing on grades

Your child knows the concept of good grades and how it, allegedly, paves way for success. When you overemphasize it and put too much stress on grades, you are doing a disservice to your child. 

They might respond to the pressure in a negative way: they might worry continuously about their grades, jeopardizing their health, or they might rebel and chuck them all in the bin. 

Hence, do not overdo with the pressure, as it may even break your child. 

Don’t berate: Be consistent 

You cannot play the good cop, bad cop, depending on the grade that your child gets. Do not be kind with them otherwise, and then berate them when they do not get the grade. This gives the child mixed signals. 

So, be consistent; when you tell them that its more important to learn, then don’t be critical when they do not get the grade. 

No conditional love

It is extremely important that you not make grades a determinant of your love for your child. Them getting an A should not be the reason why you smile at them; when you make your behavior contingent on their grades, you increase the pressure on your child. 

Your child should not have to get an A grade to feel loved. They should not be valued only for their grades. While you should appreciate their wins, but do not also push them when they are down. 

If your child perceives that your kindness is contingent of their grades, it jeopardizes their mental health then. Problems caused include depression, anxiety, lowered self-esteem, behavioral problems that also can put their physical health in peril, requiring treatment from the Child specialist in Karachi then. 

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